2013 TFL Convention: Cincinnati

Day 1

Five of the six owners coming to this year's convention arrived, the last coming in near midnight. In order of arrival: Scott Lacy, Ken Sain, Casey Brogan, Wit Tuttell and Mike Taylor. Michael Bourque is scheduled to arrive on Friday.

The Millennium Hotel has to be the largest, and best located nursing home in Cincinnati. When you walk into it you are immediately confronted by the smell of old folks. The online review says that this was a state of the art hotel in 1995. They obviously quit putting money into it and let it falter, hence, the $55 a night price.

There is construction going on behind the hotel so two of the rooms look out at that.

Still, it's two blocks from Fountain Square and in the heart of downtown, and did we mention the $55 a night?

By the time Wit arrived the boys, some of whom skipped lunch, were hungry. They headed over to Rock Bottom Brewery and Grill, located right at Fountain Square.

Sain was immediately struck by the change. If you remember the old TV show, WKRP in Cincinnati, it opened with a shot of the fountain. It was sort of teal in color. Not anymore. They have restored it to its original brown and it is still quite striking.

Casey had pickpocketed a coupon for a free appetizer from the hotel's valet, so the boys ordered the largest plate of nachos you will ever see. In addition to the traditional chips, cheese, beans, salsa, jalapenos these nachos included chicken.

The menu had many offerings that called out to the boys. Each thought about the 2 a.m. burger, but only Casey was smart enough to order it. Take your typical burger, add hash browns and a fried egg. Casey reports it's as delicious as it sounds, though he was unable to finish it.

The boys watched the first NFL game, Scott Lacy's face growing paler with each Peyton Manning touchdown. Scott's Bagdad Newts face the Arctic Gators in Week 1, owners of the first pick of the draft. Somewhere around the 30th or 32nd Manning TD pass, Lacy decided to come up with a strategy for what to do when you lose your first game even before you draft.

The rest of the guys suggested kiss your ass goodbye.

The guys wondered if they should check in and make sure everyone was still in the league and ready for Saturday's draft. Then they realized that if someone was leaving the TFL, they would have said something months ago.

The boys looked ahead to the rest of the convention. The Dodgers are in town to play the Reds, so hopefully they'll get a look at The Phenom (though he has a dreaded day-to-day injury, so maybe not).

As an added treat, the Reds are honoring the Big Red Machine on Friday, and the Big 8 are scheduled to be there. Can you name the Big 8? Rose and Bench, everyone can get. See how you do on the other six.

There was also talk about the site of next year's convention, and the boys have a beginning of a plan. However, due to secret negotiations to make the kickoff of the TFL's 25th season and mark its 20th convention, that was all off the record and cannot be reported.

There was other news: Casey is going to part-time to spend more time with his family and less time with box scores; Wit is starting his own PR company; Ken is flying off to Beijing.

There's chili, BBQ, some fusion burritos, Ken's beloved Ambar Indian food and a trip to Fuddruckers all on the menu. No idea how they plan to fit all that into four days.

Day 2

The 2014 TFL Convention, kicking off the league's 25th season ... Sept. 4-7 in San Diego.

Casey Brogan was the driving force behind this year's choice. First, no one comes further than Casey every year. He's been to every convention since one, easily paying the most money. While San Diego doesn't save him a lot of cash, it saves a little.

Second, Casey expressed a strong desire to get to know all of the owners, especially some of the new ones. So he suggested we have the convention in locations they can get to.

Steve Carney, a.k.a. Chili con, said he should be able to make a San Diego convention. Scott Schult said with enough notice, he can make it as well (provided he doesn't have a business obligation that can't be put off).

So with the hope that two of the more recent owners could attend so we can all get to know each other better ... San Diego became the choice.

Day 3

The Touch Classic, the 19th year of it, was played on the banks of the Ohio River in front of the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center and in a spot that once was the site of the western stands of Riverfront Stadium.

With only six owners present, the teams were these: Casey "MVP" Brogan was all-time QB; Ken "Big Rush" Sain was all-time defensive line. Wit Tuttell and Michael Bourque had one team, Mike Taylor and Scott Lacy were the other.

Defense dominated early with both teams picking off passes. Finally, Taylor looked at Lacy and said "If we're going to score, it's going to have to be running back a pick." On the next defensive play, Lacy did just that.

Then they scored on offense. Then they scored again. In a defensive struggle, Lacy-Taylor defeated Tuttell-Bourque 3-0.

Not only did Tuttell's team get shut out for the first time ever, but it was (so he claims) the first time Tuttell was on the losing team of a Touch Classic.

Another Touch Classic in the books, the boys headed back to the hotel for showers and then climbed into Scotty's car for a trip to get some BBQ.

If you've never driving with Scott Lacy driving a group, allow me a chance to describe. Lacy loves conversations, especially with friends. He becomes so engrossed in them, that it's easy for him to miss turnoffs, etc. Throw in his desire to get lost while driving so that he can discover new places ... and there's a danger you could end up in Michigan.

We headed for Montgomery Inn, a Cincinnati institution. After getting lost two or three times while Lacy was discussing driver-less cars with Taylor, we ended up at the original Montgomery Inn in Montgomery, Ohio, only to discover they don't open until 3 p.m. It was 1 p.m.

So we headed to Eli's BBQ. Eli's is relatively new, it didn't exist when Sain moved out of the area in 2001, being only 10 years old. But it has quickly developed a reputation for great BBQ. And most importantly, it was open at 1 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon.

Eli's is a great BBQ shack. It's on the Ohio River, has a nice outdoor seating area, has some great nostalgic knick-knacks. (Should have seen the boys trying to figure out what this one device was -- it looked like the speaker Larry King spoke into but was actually a 1947 hair dryer).

The BBQ was solid, but that's a solid from the boys, not the Pilgrim, so it must remain unofficial. The surprises were the jalapeno grits and jalapeno cornbread. The ribs seemed to get more love than the pulled pork sandwiches, but it was close.

The owners returned to the hotel and began getting ready for the draft. The pizza of choice for the draft center was LaRosa's, another Cincinnati institution. It received positive reviews.

After the draft, they concluded the convention debate and firmly settled on San Diego as the choice for the 2014 convention. They then discussed the impact of the flex rule (did Safety Harbor really take 14 wide receivers?) and broke down the teams.

Consensus was that Limerick has the best team coming out of the draft, but that every team is solid. The days of weak sisters in the league are over. It's going to be a dog fight for the title. 





Day 4

The final day of the TFL Convention is usually low key, with watching the first games (we ignore that monstrosity on Thursday night) of the season.

Mike Taylor left early in the morning and returned to Denver, so the five remaining owners spent time by the pool, or in the fitness center before heading to Locals Sports Pub, across the street for the Hustler Club. Yes, Larry Flynt's Hustler Club. You didn't know he got his start in the Dayton/Cincinnati area?

The only unusual event during the games was when Casey Brogan left the table for a bit. A man walked into the bar, and looked over the table. Casey's Apple laptop was sitting by itself. Michael Bourque's iPad was also being ignored for the moment. Others had their cell phones on the table, ready in case someone needed to look up some scoring.

A couple of the owners noticed the man who was walking around the table, staring at the goodies. When he noticed he was being watched, he slowly left the bar.

"I would have chased him until I couldn't have run any more," Scott Lacy said. No one doubted him, because he's done just that in the past. Brogan returned and there was no further intrigue with the tech gadgets. The food was typical American sports bar, nothing special.

After the first round of games they headed back and Michael Bourque said his goodbyes as the others watched the Packers vs. 49ers. Then it was time for dinner.

The four remaining owners picked up Indian food at Ambar India, a personal favorite of Ken Sain's when he lived here. It proved as spicy as Sain promised. Both Tuttell and Brogan tried Sain's chile chicken with a 4 (spice is graded on level 1-6) spice. Sain usually eats the 5. Both Tuttell and Brogan moved on to other dishes, saying it was a bit too much for them. Lacy, having tasted a 5 before, skipped the chile chicken altogether.

They took the food back to the hotel to watch the Sunday night football game. It was a fitting way to end the 2013 TFL Convention, in the Gaslight District of Cincinnati.

The 2014 TFL Convention in San Diego kicks off in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego.